


Feathers Across the Seasons

by themorninglark



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Crane Wife, Day Two: Paper, Fic/Art Collab, Illness, M/M, Proceed with caution, SouRin Week, fairy tale AU, may cause pain, please heed the "Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 18:49:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4798490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themorninglark/pseuds/themorninglark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wraps his wings round his torso, pressing one cheek against their downy softness. There'll be a red streak there, too, on the white feathers.</p><p>
  <i>(If my wings were no longer beautiful -</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Would you still love me?)</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feathers Across the Seasons

**Author's Note:**

> Written for SouRin Week, September 2015, Day 2: Fairy Tale AU (Paper)
> 
> A fic/art collab with the amazing Lexy, who showed me [this video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_4Ut1DI4wA) of a song inspired by the story of the Crane Wife. Please watch and listen for maximum feels to go with this fic. This is the first of the LexyLark SouRin Week Collabs!
> 
> [Lexy's accompanying art here](http://bloomejasmine.tumblr.com/post/129076223850/logicandfeels-sourinweek-day-2-paper-fairy)

[ _ _ ](http://bloomejasmine.tumblr.com/post/129076223850/logicandfeels-sourinweek-day-2-paper-fairy)

_Hey, Rin._

_It was on a winter day just like this that we met._

_Do you remember?_

 

* * *

 

He is ugly, and he is cut in places that he is ashamed to show, on human skin that feels naked and bare against the falling blanket of white. He's tried to stand, and failed; the trap round his ankle had its teeth in deep, and he feels it now, the rivulet of scarlet blood trickling down his foot. Staining the snow by his heel.

He does not mind the cold. He is burning up from the inside, and he is slipping, slipping into the dark with every weary breath.

He wraps his wings round his torso, pressing one cheek against their downy softness. There'll be a red streak there, too, on the white feathers. The wing twitches reflexively.

He's reaching one hand up towards his aching shoulder when - all of a sudden -

_Footsteps?_

He peeks out between the gaps of his feathers to feel, to see, to hear -

A pair of warm hands round his ankle. A sharp gasp, a hiss of life-giving breath in this deserted wintry snowfall. A vision in red, bending down in a threadbare robe.

Those fingers are gentle, cradling his foot lightly, so lightly, as they brush away the snow round his wound. They are steady. They do not waver at the touch of blood.

"You're hurt," says a voice. Soft, but determined.

He unfurls his wings bit by bit, steadies himself to look into the face of the strange man in full. He wants to look away. Men hurt him. They always do, always have - they covet him, as a prize; they fear him, for the beast that he is -

Wings spread, he stares into fierce eyes of crimson that do not flinch.

 

* * *

 

_Are you not afraid?_

_Were you not afraid, then?_

 

* * *

 

A shadow falls over the doorway, and the chill wind of early spring sweeps in through the cracks, carrying the scent of the sakura blossoms on it as it wafts beneath his nose.

He looks up, into eyes that, he has learned, never flinch from anything.

"Sousuke? Where are you going?"

"Away," says Sousuke.

His wings are tucked back, hidden beneath the loose robe he's slung round his shoulders. He bends down again, tightens the straps of his sandals. He can wear them now, without pain; the cuts on his ankles have healed, leaving only the faintest of scars.

"What do you mean, _away_?"

Rin crosses his arms. He doesn't move, from where he's standing on the threshold of his small wooden house.

"I'm better now. Thank you, Rin. I don't need to impose on you any more."

"What are you talking about, you dumbass?"

Rin's gaze flares, burns into Sousuke. He feels the dying embers in his heart stir, feels the ashes spark into something like life. He looks down at the tatami mats that line the floor. He thinks of nights, nights spent lying on them in fevered, sweating dreams, with Rin by his side, always ready with a cold compress and a basin of water.

"I can't stay," Sousuke says, quietly. "I don't belong here. I'll only cause trouble for you - "

The sound of a rough _thud_ cuts him off mid-sentence. He looks up.

It's Rin.

It's Rin, who's dropped his basket and fallen on his knees before him, and they're eye to eye, and Rin's hands are on his face, holding it - holding _him_ tight - his fingers are trembling, the pads of his thumbs brushing Sousuke's cheekbones like they're made of glass, soft as the touch of a feather -

"Don't say things like that," Rin whispers, and his breath is warm on Sousuke's cheek.

"Didn't you hear me? _I don't belong here._ Rin, I'm - I'm a _monster_ , look at me."

Sousuke spreads one wing slowly, then another.

He tries to tear his gaze from Rin's, but it is futile after all; Rin has him in the heart of his palms, even as his hands drop slowly downward, one caressing his neck, his shoulder, the other sliding down the curve of his wing.

Rin says something then, and it makes him blush red, redder than his hair.

Sousuke, for the first time in a long, long time, smiles, and there is nothing but happiness in it, even as he sees Rin's eyes welling up with tears.

 

* * *

 

_You're always so stubborn. So fearless. Seriously. You drive me mad…_

_Why is it that part of you that makes me happiest as well?_

 

* * *

 

Sousuke comes to learn about Rin, about this curious mortal with the warm hands.

He is strong, and works hard in the fields. His father, too, was a farmer before him, but he died young, died of a lingering sickness that destroyed his lungs from the inside.

Rin was a child then, and he speaks of it in a matter-of-fact way.

"Someday," he says, eyes shining, "I'll turn this place into the magnificent apple orchard he wanted it to be, and I'll ask my mother and sister to come live here too."

Rin has grand dreams, dreams that become Sousuke's as well. They share their days beneath the sun sometimes, tilling the soil; Rin doesn't allow Sousuke to do too much strenuous work, so he makes himself useful at home. Gets good at cooking for two.

As the weather turns warmer, Sousuke takes his crane form and flies, flies up into a cloudy sky and stretches his wings, feels the breeze ruffle his feathers. He thinks, he could fly away now.

Except he doesn't want to, not anymore.

From the ground below him, Rin looks up, and breaks out into a brilliant smile as he waves at the crane overhead. He is more dazzling than the sun above.

 

* * *

 

The seasons pass. The apple trees grow, and on the perimeter, so do the sakura.

Their fruit is sweet, and when Sousuke sinks his teeth into a freshly-plucked apple for the first time, sitting in the garden with Rin, he feels their dream maybe becoming more than a fantasy. Maybe. Just a little.

Their fruit is sweet, but Rin's hand on his hand, his lips on his lips afterwards, licking away the juice with a tender touch of his tongue, are sweeter still.

Kissing Rin is like nothing Sousuke has ever imagined, or dared to imagine. He may as well try to catch the wind in his hand, trap the rays of the sun between his feathers; their warmth, their heat, the fleeting lightness of it all, and yet - so fierce, so passionate -

Rin kisses like every kiss will be the last one. Like someone who has lived with loss, and love, his entire life.

When Sousuke kisses back, Rin shudders at his touch, and presses closer.

 

* * *

 

_"I love your beautiful wings."_

_You said that to me, our first spring together._

_Do you remember?_

 

* * *

 

It is on a crisp, clear autumn day, when the sun is setting and Rin steps through the door, sweating from his brow, that Sousuke hears the first cough wrack his body.

"Don't worry about it," says Rin, with a dismissive wave of his hand and a smile.

Sousuke grits his teeth, and says nothing. He watches Rin go out to the orchard, day by day. He watches, and clenches his fists helplessly, as the cough worsens. He mixes herbs into the soups he makes, and the tea that he brews for Rin in the evenings.

He kisses him asleep, and some nights, he comes away with the iron taste of blood on his lips. Rin's breathing is shallow. He sleeps fitfully.

When Sousuke grips Rin by the wrist one morning and tells him not to work today, Rin hisses sharply, and pulls away.

"I can't, Sousuke. The fields - "

_And my dream. Our dream._

Rin doesn't say it, not in so many words. But Sousuke feels it, in the pit of his stomach, turning uneasily. As Rin shoulders his pack and heads out without another word, Sousuke knows that he is frustrated - at the world, at himself, above all - at his own body's weakness, at the creeping dread that, perhaps, the inevitability of his inheritance has caught up with him at last.

_There must be something I can do…_

And as Sousuke's wingtip brushes his face, he thinks, _yes, there is._

 

* * *

 

It hurts when he plucks out the first feather. Blood falls from the shaft.

He does it outdoors in the first snowfall of the season, so that he doesn't stain the tatami mats in the house. So that Rin doesn't know.

He watches the dark red seep into white, watches the proof of his sacrifice leave its mark on cold, cruel nature's cloak.

_This is for Rin._

When he plucks out the second, and the third, it doesn't hurt so much anymore.

The weaver woman in the market pays a fine price for them, and Sousuke buys new medicine that brings the colour back to Rin's cheeks, just for a day.

"I feel so much better," says Rin, leaning into his shoulder. He breathes. The sound is ragged and worn, still.

Sousuke holds Rin tight, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He unfurls his wings, encircles them both in their soft warmth; and in the hush that falls, he can pretend that this cocooned moment is eternal.

 

* * *

 

_I thought -_

_Finally - this was something I could do, with my monstrous nature…_

_That I could save you, like you saved me once._

 

* * *

 

As he brings more feathers to the weaver woman, and more every day, she cocks a curious eyebrow at him, and he can see the question forming on the back of her tongue as she bids him a good day and hands him the precious silver pieces.

She never asks. Perhaps, thinks Sousuke, she knows.

He keeps his half-torn wings concealed, beneath a dark-coloured robe and layers of clothing; winter is growing chillier, and so, too, is his body, without the feathers to shelter him.

Rin, at last, gives in to Sousuke's demands, and stays home. He is too weak to worry about the apple orchard, surely, thinks Sousuke; but he thinks wrong, and Rin, in between spurts of coughing and restless, dreamless sleep, wakes with his eyes wide open. With what little breath he has, he begs Sousuke to take their meagre harvest to the market for him.

Sousuke does so, and every day, he sells more feathers, and comes home with medicine that grows ever steeper and dearer, as the herbs that Rin needs get more and more scarce in this harsh season.

 

* * *

 

_I was a fool, wasn't I?_

_But then, you were the romantic one first._

_Guess it rubs off, in some way._

 

* * *

 

"Sousuke. Wrap me in your wings."

Sousuke, lying on the tatami with Rin in his arms, freezes for a second.

"I - "

"You can't, can you?" Rin whispers.

His body feels so cold, so small and weak in Sousuke's embrace, but with his hand, he takes Sousuke's and presses it strongly to his heart.

"No," says Sousuke. His voice cracks, rings hollow in their bedroom.

"I know," says Rin. "I've noticed."

He is shaking, his face turned away still, as his back trembles against Sousuke's chest; his heartbeat flickers beneath the rough touch of Sousuke's palm, erratic and fluttering.

"Why? Why did you do it?" Rin chokes out. "Why didn't you _tell_ me?"

And Sousuke smiles into Rin's hair, kisses the back of his neck.

"Because I knew you would cry," he says softly, as the tears spill hot and fast onto his arm and Rin lets go of his hand, burying his face into his palms. It doesn't muffle the sound of his anguished sobs.

"Shhh, Rin," Sousuke murmurs, stroking his cheek gently. "It's okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry…"

"What the hell are you sorry for?" Rin mutters, and Sousuke marvels at this remarkable man, this man whom he loves, who manages, still, to pour the whole of his fiery heart into his words, his _touch_ , even as that very heart is failing with each breath he takes.

"My wings. You loved them, and I've ruined them - Rin…"

Sousuke swallows. He pulls Rin closer to himself and feels the tearstains through the thin cotton of his sleeve, feels Rin inhale, long and shuddering and broken.

"If my wings were no longer beautiful - would you still - "

_Would you still love me?_

Sousuke can't bear to ask the question. But Rin cuts him off then, fiercely.

"Of course I would," he says, and his words are like flame, melting the winter away. "Of course I would, you idiot."

 

* * *

 

_There's still something I haven't told you. I don't think I knew it myself, before now._

_Cranes don't live long without their feathers._

 

_I'm growing cold, too._

 

 

 

 

"Mother, look."

In a city far away, Matsuoka Gou stands on the steps outside her house, peering up into the clouds. It's a fine spring day, and the scent of sakura is fresh and sweet on the air.

There are two birds in the sky, circling overhead.

Her mother comes out, dusting her hands on her skirt. "What is it, Gou?"

"Those birds. They look like cranes... isn't that strange?"

"That _is_ funny," says her mother, gazing skyward curiously. "They're not common round these parts."

"I wonder what they're doing here…"

A lone feather falls then, spiraling downwards and landing at Gou's feet. She picks it up. It's soft to the touch, white, with a strange red stain on it.

She looks up.

The cranes have flown away, disappearing over the horizon like a mirage on the breeze.

 

\- 終わり -

 

**Author's Note:**

> With thanks, once again, to my friend and wonderful collaborator Lexy, who inspired much of this with [her gorgeous art](http://bloomejasmine.tumblr.com/post/129076223850/logicandfeels-sourinweek-day-2-paper-fairy).
> 
> (Please listen to the song if you haven't, and cry with us)
> 
> You might also like to check out: [LexyLark SouRin Week Collab, Part Two](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4822955)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [i love your beautiful wings](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4804670) by [InkWitch (serkestic)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/serkestic/pseuds/InkWitch)




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